Unlike many in the PR game (you know who you are), I don’t like to blow my own trumpet.
However, I am uniquely placed to comment on the travails of Jeremy Clarkson and his on-going skirmishes with the planning system and the long-suffering officers of West Oxfordshire Council.
I ran a restaurant for two years. From a wide menu it made everything except money.
If you are need of an urgent tax loss to offset profits elsewhere, this is the way to do it. Almost a 100 per-cent failure rate. It’s up there with owning racehorses or having a high-maintenance spouse who likes art.
Jeremy’s restaurant had 40 covers (catering-speak for seats) and mine had 44. Here are the basic financials: 30 per cent for rent, rates, utilities, etc; 30 per cent for staff costs; 30 per cent for ingredients; 10 per cent profit.
This gives very little wiggle room. Almost all your costs are fixed. Now Jeremy charges £49 for a set meal and let’s say he’s open every day of the year and every seat is taken for lunch and dinner, that should give him a turnover of £1.4 million. Or a profit of £140,000.
That’s Diddly Squat compared to Jeremy’s estimated net worth of £50 million (it must be true, I read it in the Daily Mail) and an income of £20 million a year.
He loved it when West Oxfordshire turned down his plans for the restaurant and parking spaces. He took side swipes at the officers, who were just following government guidance, and the residents of Chipping Norton, the red-trouser brigade as he wittily called them. I know them well.
His antics have also caught the eye of (dishy) Rishi and his Farm to Fork (off) initiative. Jeremy’s ‘co-stars’ Kaleb and the land agent, Mr Ireland have been wined and dined at No 10 Downing Steet.
But, in absolute fairness to Jeremy, his campaign has brought some real results to ease the ridiculous rules about what or can’t be done on a farm.
He was named the National Farmers’ Union’s Farming Champion of the Year 2021.
Meantime, Jeremy can go back to his day job as a TV celebrity – far more lucrative.
Now if only I had made that career move all those years ago when I opened The Wild Geese.
Have a good weekend
Tom
by the Planning PR guru 