| Most years it’s an embarrassment to talk about the Irish rugby team but this year I’m going around with a rather smug smile as we’re doing rather well. And I got to thinking about how like the planning system the game is. It can be very slow, everyone seems stuck in mud and nobody fully understands the rules which are models of bamboozlement. Take the scrum, where 20 stone masses of man meat go head to head with each other and grunt and groan as they try to win the ball…with their heels for God’s sake. Any of you who have been on either side of a difficult pre-app meeting will know the feeling only too well. Then there is the maul which always reminds me of public exhibitions where ‘angry residents’ (always angry) and ‘concerned environmentalists’ (always concerned) take on the ‘greedy developers’ (always greedy). There’s also the line out – I cannot help but be reminded of council meetings where the ruling party try to defend a local plan against the opposition. The poor old referee – and I always think of planning officers who know the near-incomprehensible rules. At least they do not have to suffer the same abuse as they get at soccer matches where they are berated as being onanists – sometimes in song. As with rugby the rules of planning are so complex that they confuse everyone so there is little choice but to abide by rule of the referee. Failing that we can always consult the virtual referee, Michael Gove. But the biggest similarity between rugby and planning is the kick to touch. Members may want a site visit, a deferment or more reports – as if they did not have enough in the telephone books they have been presented with and often not read. This tactic is increasingly used as we head towards elections. Our Irish team includes both southern and northern men who have played happily together since the game was invented. I tried to explain this anomaly to an Italian once – big mistake. Before I knew it I was back in 1690 explaining the Battle of the Boyne. Perhaps there are lessons for Mr Sunak as he tries to sort out the Northern Irish Protocol. I wish him luck. Anyway, put March 18 (ominously the day after Paddy’s Day when there is a lot of drinking) in your diary. We want to win the only match that matters…against England. Have a good weekend. Tom |
by the Planning PR guru 